And I'm Going Down

Sittin in the ER
foot hurt, still limpin
no goals to reach for
well at least I'm still livin
black eye, head swole
gotta say it feels different
black skies, heads roll
its just the ways my wheels pivot

(and im going down)

and there aint no better way to say
I wish that I never came
it could have been a better day

I crashed my fist into his face
and since the I've been crashing down
if Neo says there is no spoon
I really hope there is no ground

but death's the only thing im promised
im not being pessimistic
I'm just tryna be honest

and if I never come around
call the cops
he done lost it
someone needs to take him down

sleeping in life's waiting room
doctor please see your patient
found a secret place to hide
problem is I can't escape it

wanna make this heart vacant
it's already full of hatred
if there really is a chance
love will make a reservation

but why am I stressed?
can't get a job
but poverty is blessed

underdrawn, bad credit
life is a mess
car is a wreck
and my mom's still depressed

Woke up frustrated
gotta say I hate it
wash the dirt from my face
but the scar's still remainin

kinda like my life
every now and then i change it
but the problems grow back
still behind on payments

calloused heart is tough
willpower aint enough
ask how im doin
man it's just another bluff

stuffed like a glut
aint been around much
stayin low key
just chillin in the cut

tell my heart to shut up
always tryna sing
my minds still in winter
while it's already spring

it seems
I lost track tryna chase my dreams
switched my style more darker
just to give it some sting

I wanna burn
I want my turn
I want my chance to shine
but I cant get mine
when I'm still paying fines

I know im aware butI
cant escape the fact
that my pockets gettin skinny
while my stomachs gettin fat

High so often
I can even count the air miles
hairline receding
you would think it's my new hairstyle

So catch my drift
read my lips
I want that better life shit

Don't ride my dick
just roll that spliff
and I will just ignite it

Story of my life
the future will rewrite it
watch my recovery
the homies are invited

Sun tatted on my rib
they took away my kid
my dream was like my baby
lookin at an empty crib

It's all a mess
I'm all depressed
from all this stress
my confidence
has reached a low
the reefer blows
and I'm just puffin
hope for something
gave it up
a week ago

it's funny how a week could go
by so fast
my weakness grows
into my heart
into my mind
it's just the way diseases go

and now I try to reach the glow
needed to achieve a goal
I even gave God a wish
I wonder what he see's below

A girl said "he heard you"
my mom said "he served you"
but what do you do
when your own soul deserts you?

and you're Mom's only boy
standing tryna save the world
and the anger just destroys
but you're tryna save the pearls

treasuring the memories
drift into infinite
recognize the enemy
visualize the imagery

cause at the bottom of the sea
there lies the real me
their lies are filthy
you can see the watermarks

that's just the real me
sliding through the water parks
child is within me
tryna beat the harder parts

and all the while ya'll feel me
forreal b,
c
d
e
and F me
you left me
so I switched to the other side
like a lefty

the Spirit had me set free
but cold world done wet me
hold on, you'll get me
when I'm droppin checks
poppin X
dressed fresh clean

hope thou will bless me
dope styles investing
the wack stay behind
but the nice see the best things

step up, impress me
ugly's a pet peeve
that I cant fix
so I switch a different approach

I'm hitting a roach
cliffside poached
fly but still behind
like I'm sitting in coach.

boast cause im a player
curse like a sailor
roast my closest pals
cut em up like tailors

and let them see my dark side
bitch I'm darth vader
force myself upon the world
get banned for bad behavior

today I got fired
I guess it's tough luck
I guess the world's tired
of me being a fuck up

so I'll just say fuck it
the destiny best for me
is drunk driving a bucket

unless my ex text dtf
I guess at best
that means she left
and now I'm next
but this bitch is low grade
easy F
blowin me off
like an easy breath

God was waiting in his car but I think he left.