during my trips the last few days
a greater sense of being and self worth has found me
Through my introspection
I discovered how high I place exterior desires above my own self
as if these other things were more valuable
than I am
After venting on a forum
I became aware of how frustrated I was about
social success
and realized
my self-success, or
inner-game, or
self-worth, or
self-love and fulfillment
had been lacking.
As I sat on my roof
I asked myself
"Why
do you allow yourself
to be pulled
in so many directions
by things outside of you?"
"Why are you
letting
so many
outside forces
disturb your peace?"
When I came back to my apartment and listened to the music.
When I closed my eyes and began to fly.
I wondered what happened to all my utopian urges.
Had they all been curbed by the desire for gain?
Have I been trying to hard to impress this or that person, to get to this place or that place?
Free your mind.
I recovered this note I typed to myself during the experience
What happened to your original plan? Working on yourself so much and improving yourself so much, being so awesome and talented and beautiful and joyful and uplifting and kindhearted THAT PEOPLE WANT YOU AROUND, THAT YOURE WANTED, WANTED, WANTED WANTED WANTED. THAT THEY WANT YOU. WORK ON YOU MAN, YOU’RE THE CENTER OF YOUR OWN BEAUTIFUL UNIVERSE. ALWAYS SEE BEAUTY AND DREAMS. SHOW YOUR DREAMS TO THE WORLD THAT WILL FOLLOW AND BELIEVE.
I pray on remaining deeply rooted, while having a mind and heart flexible enough to be moved, but never broken.
As stated by Sophocles in Eodipus Rex "The stiff heart breaks the soonest"
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